census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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