Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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