literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
