Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
