therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
