Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
