My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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