chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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