please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
