There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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