dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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