her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
