Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I cannot find my penis.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
