He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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