I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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