she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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