$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
