the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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