Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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