let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
