i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
