I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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