aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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