You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I cut my penus on the lid.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
