lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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