why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
