reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
