Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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