ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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