Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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