dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
