GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
