Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
