i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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