I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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