It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
