If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
