the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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