dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize