My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
