I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
