So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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