we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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