I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Couch. On fire.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
