the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I will pee on everything he values.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
