all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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