Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He uses pillows to masturbate.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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