went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
