Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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