I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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