So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This is my gift to your gina
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
