Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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