just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
