And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
