I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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