Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
