I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
