i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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