Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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